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Behuld – zee-a internet ouff tuilet tissuoe at Meecrusufft Sveden. Børk børk børk!

The Register - Mon, 2019-12-09 13:20
Windows giant shows off smart-metered, connected office in Stockholm

The Register took a trip to Microsoft's shiny new Stockholm HQ to check out what the company's employees have to look forward to over the next decade - and came away more informed about smart metred loo roll.…

Categories: Technology News

Two can play that game: China orders ban on US computers and software

The Register - Mon, 2019-12-09 12:40
Who needs who more?

China has ordered all government offices to start ripping out non-Chinese computers and software in order to bolster domestic manufacturers and suppliers.…

Categories: Technology News

David Phillips, godfather of UK tech distribution industry, dies aged 74

The Register - Mon, 2019-12-09 12:00
Northamber founder passes after 'short illness'

Obit The Brit tech industry has lost one of its founding fathers, a literal and metaphorical giant who pioneered hardware and software distribution. David Michael Phillips, Northamber's founder and – until recently – its long-serving chairman, has died.…

Categories: Technology News

Things Microsoft will be glad to never see again: Windows 10 1809 and Windows Phone Office

The Register - Mon, 2019-12-09 11:18
New builds, Project Scarlett and much more

Roundup New builds, a prolonged farewell to old friends and a new toy (for the boss, at least). That's right, it's the past week at Microsoft brought to you in bite-sized chunks by El Reg.…

Categories: Technology News

Gee, S/4HANA. Just what I always wanted: Customers are wary of what's in SAP's sack

The Register - Mon, 2019-12-09 10:00
So the decades we invested in the last platform mean nothing?

The lure of shiny new things is particularly irrepressible in December as Christmas approaches, but SAP customers seem to be able to resist it.…

Categories: Technology News

Here's a bit of Intel for you: Neri a day goes by that HPE doesn't feel CPU shortage pinch

The Register - Mon, 2019-12-09 09:10
Not just server pain, PCs too, says new CEO

Hewlett Packard Enterprise is feeling the effects of Intel shortages in the server market, the company CEO has told us.…

Categories: Technology News

Remember the Dutch kid who stuck his finger in a dam to save the village? Here's the IT equivalent

The Register - Mon, 2019-12-09 08:12
It only took colleagues an hour to notice our hero was missing

Who, Me? Welcome to back Who, Me?, The Register's weekly dip into the bottomless pool of cunning and calamity supplied by readers who have, in a real sense, been there and most definitely done that.…

Categories: Technology News

US Homeland Security backs off on scanning US citizens, Amazon ups AI ante, and more

The Register - Mon, 2019-12-09 07:01
And why China might not be as big as first thought in AI spending

Roundup Hello, welcome to this week's machine learning musings. We bring you news about the hottest topics in AI: Facial recognition, the so-called AI arms race between the US and China, and erm, GPUs in the cloud.…

Categories: Technology News

OpenBSD bugs, Microsoft's bad update, a new Nork hacking crew, and more

The Register - Sat, 2019-12-07 10:01
Meanwhile, the DOJ sets its sights on money mules

Welcome to yet another El Reg security roundup. Off we go.…

Categories: Technology News

FTC kicks feet through ash pile that once was Cambridge Analytica with belated verdict

The Register - Sat, 2019-12-07 00:40
Trade boss says long-dead biz was indeed deceiving the public

The US Federal Trade Commission has issued what looks to be a largely symbolic ruling against the remnants of data-harvesting marketers Cambridge Analytica.…

Categories: Technology News

Elon Musk gets thumbs up from jury for use of 'pedo guy' in cave diver defamation lawsuit

The Register - Sat, 2019-12-07 00:15
CEO's tweeted taunt totally fine, twelve jurors decide

Billionaire Elon Musk did not defame British cave explorer Vernon Unsworth, a Los Angeles jury concluded on Friday.…

Categories: Technology News

Forget sharks with lasers, NASA kits out an elephant seal with a sensor-studded skullcap

The Register - Fri, 2019-12-06 23:09
We're never gonna survive unless, we get a little crazy

NASA’s science team has a new female recruit and she's probing the watery depths of the Antarctic in a quest to helping climate eggheads understand our climate.…

Categories: Technology News

WebAssembly gets nod from W3C and, most likely, an embrace from cryptojackers online

The Register - Fri, 2019-12-06 21:31
Standardization of wasm for the web offers a new take on the same old problems

The World Wide Web Consortium (W3C) on Thursday published three WebAssembly specifications as W3C Recommendations, officially endorsing a technology touted for the past few years as a way to accelerate web code, to open the web to more programming languages, and to make code created for the web more portable and safe.…

Categories: Technology News

China fires up 'Great Cannon' denial-of-service blaster, points it toward Hong Kong

The Register - Fri, 2019-12-06 20:07
Protest organizers come under fire from network traffic barrage

China is reportedly using the 'cannon' capabilities of its massive domestic internet to try and take down anti-government websites in Hong Kong.…

Categories: Technology News

Samsung Galaxy S11 tipped to escalate the phone cam arms race with 108MP sensor

The Register - Fri, 2019-12-06 19:00
Squaring up to the iPhone 11

Samsung is expected to next year release its newest flagship, the Galaxy S11. And, as is the case with any high-profile phone release, details are steadily leaking from the chaebol's notoriously porous supply chain.…

Categories: Technology News

Cloud vendors burp after last year's server sales feast, couldn't possibly eat any more

The Register - Fri, 2019-12-06 18:15
Not even a wafer-thin blade?

The global server market hasn't been able to match the heady highs of 2018 so far this year and Q3 was no exception as both shipments and the value of those boxes dropped.…

Categories: Technology News

Ireland's B.ICONIC snaffles Stormfront to become largest Apple reseller in the UK

The Register - Fri, 2019-12-06 17:25
May we suggest a rebrand?

B.ICONIC, the parent of one of Ireland's largest Apple Premium Resellers (APRs), is buying Stormfront – the UK Apple retailer that is, rather than the Aryan social network.…

Categories: Technology News

Still in preview, but look! You can now develop Azure Sphere apps in Linux – if you dare

The Register - Fri, 2019-12-06 16:55
19.11 brings penguin support and a Visual Studio Code extension

Microsoft's forever-in-preview Azure Sphere received an important update this week, bringing a Linux SDK (also in preview form) and Visual Studio Code support.…

Categories: Technology News

Nokia 2.3: HMD flings out €109 budget 'droid with a 2-day battery

The Register - Fri, 2019-12-06 16:01
But get ready to flip your cables cos it's microUSB

HMD Global, the owner of the once-ubiquitous Nokia brand, today unveiled its latest budget blower, the Nokia 2.3.…

Categories: Technology News

Ohhh, you're so rugged! Microsoft swoons at new Lenovo box pushing Azure to the edge

The Register - Fri, 2019-12-06 15:16
Fix it to a wall, stick it on a shelf

While the public cloud might have once been all the rage, the cold light of day has brought the realisation that bandwidth, compliance and convenience means that something a little more local is needed.…

Categories: Technology News


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