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Splunk does a bunk from Russia: No software and services for you, Putin!

The Register - Tue, 2019-02-19 12:30
Была́ не была́

Big data analytics outfit Splunk will no longer be big in Russia after the company confirmed plans to stop selling its wares there.…

Categories: Technology News

Uptown func: Serverless types trouser $4.8m as investors eye faster FaaS

The Register - Tue, 2019-02-19 12:00
Optimised function wrangling aims to make AWS's Lambda look like a Lada

Interview Israel-based serverless specialist Nuweba has slurped $4.8m of seed funding from investors keen on the company's bold claims that its tech runs at 10 times the speed of the competition.…

Categories: Technology News

LG folds at prospect of launching bendy phone while Samsung flaunts its upcoming kit on telly

The Register - Tue, 2019-02-19 11:23
We need to get our house in order first, prez tells press

Samsung has launched TV ads featuring its foldable phone – but its rival chaebol isn't so keen.…

Categories: Technology News

'Occult' text from <i>Buffy The Vampire Slayer</i> ep actually just story about new bus lane in Dublin

The Register - Tue, 2019-02-19 10:30
And it's still a better love story than Twilight

Conundrum. You're working on a burning trash pile of a '90s TV show and need some spooky, mysterious language to lorem ipsum into a book of supposedly occult nature. Which tongue has a suitable enough clusterfuck of vowels to make the prop look like it's about to summon Yog-Sothoth?…

Categories: Technology News

Autonomy trial: Key HPE witness might not testify, UK High Court told

The Register - Tue, 2019-02-19 09:59
Christopher Egan has had enough of giving evidence

Ill-fated British software company Autonomy's one-time US sales chief is reluctant to testify in person against former CEO Mike Lynch, the High Court in London heard yesterday morning.…

Categories: Technology News

UK Department for Work and Pensions planning health data-slurping digital tool

The Register - Tue, 2019-02-19 09:25
Anyone here keen to be supplier to build next stage of tool to get 'right support' for sick, disabled?

The UK's Department for Work and Pensions is drawing up plans for an internal service that allows it to automate slurps of medical data on claimants to dole out health-related benefits.…

Categories: Technology News

Court sees Morissette Meter flip out as Oracle assumes anti-arbitration stance in pay dispute

The Register - Mon, 2019-02-18 16:58
Isn't it ironic, don't you think?

It is ironic that Oracle, which normally tries to make class-action suits "disappear into arbitration", is now taking an anti-arbitration stance in a pay dispute, a judge in San Francisco said late last week.…

Categories: Technology News

Down productivity tools: Microsoft Teams takes a Monday tumble

The Register - Mon, 2019-02-18 16:03
If only Slack would go down too, we could get some work done

Microsoft's collaborative Slack-alike, Teams, is having a difficult start to the week, with users unable to log in to share their hopes, dreams and Word documents with their co-workers.…

Categories: Technology News

Surrey Uni mans the space harpoons, and NASA buys more seats on Russian rockets

The Register - Mon, 2019-02-18 15:36
UK Space spends £18m on internet sat tech

Roundup While NASA finally gave up on the Opportunity Rover, a UK-built space harpoon was fired last week, much to the annoyance of one ex-Shuttle bigwig... and earlier today, the UK agreed to fling money at satellite tech.…

Categories: Technology News

You know the drill: SAP has asked Joe Public to name Munich arena so go forth and be very silly

The Register - Mon, 2019-02-18 14:41
The combined might of Reg readers can do better than SAPpy McSAPface

German ERP giant SAP has finally latched on to the name-our-thing stunt commonly used to drum up interest in gritters, offering punters the chance to brand Munich's new sports arena.…

Categories: Technology News

HPE wants British ex-CFO to testify in UK Autonomy lawsuit before Uncle Sam sentences him

The Register - Mon, 2019-02-18 14:11
UK court told firm wants Sushovan Hussain on stand in case he's handed jail time

HPE wants Sushovan Hussain, convicted ex-CFO of infamous British software company Autonomy, to give evidence in HPE's UK lawsuit against former Autonomy CEO Mike Lynch before his own potential US prison sentence.…

Categories: Technology News

Twilight of the sundials: Archaic timepiece dying out and millennials are to blame, reckons boffin

The Register - Mon, 2019-02-18 13:15
How is there so much villainy wrapped up in one generation?

When was the last time you appreciated a sundial? I'll give you a mo...…

Categories: Technology News

Windows Subsystem for Linux elevates humdrum release, SAC-T sacked, and crypto-jacking apps found in Microsoft Store

The Register - Mon, 2019-02-18 12:20
Win 10 + Linux files sitting in a tree, c-o-p-y-i-n-g

Roundup Yet more Linux love seeped into Windows 10 over the past week, while admins buffed their rings in readiness for servicing changes and miscreants crept around the Microsoft Store.…

Categories: Technology News

Solder and Lego required: <i>The Register</i> builds a Project Alias gizmo to deafen Alexa

The Register - Mon, 2019-02-18 11:48
Second time lucky?

Readers, we asked you what materials we should use to construct homebrew gadget Project Alias – which deafens smart speakers. 40 per cent demanded Lego.…

Categories: Technology News

Aussie PM blames 'state level' baddies for parliament breach

The Register - Mon, 2019-02-18 11:05
China, Russia, Israel and the US floated as potential culprits

Australia's prime minister has blamed a "sophisticated state actor" for a hack on the country's parliament and some of its prominent political parties.…

Categories: Technology News

What did turbonerds do before the internet? 41 years ago, a load of BBS

The Register - Mon, 2019-02-18 10:25
Born in a storm of snow, killed off in a blizzard of TCP/IP: The Bulletin Board System

While large chunks of the US used this year's Snowmageddon to binge on streaming TV or tweet selfies with snowmen, take a moment to remember the Great Blizzard of 1978, which led to the first Bulletin Board Service (BBS) taking to the phone lines 41 years ago.…

Categories: Technology News

Here come the riled MPs (keep private, huh?), Facebook's a digital 'gangster' ('disingen-u-ous'). Zuckerberg he is a failure (on sharing data)

The Register - Mon, 2019-02-18 09:34
Na-nana-nana-nana-nana..nanana...nanana.... nana nana* Calls for compulsory Code of Ethics

Tech titans like Facebook, itself described as a "digital gangster", continually fail to address the risks their platforms pose to democracy – so the British government should regulate, MPs have said.…

Categories: Technology News

Techie in need of a doorstop picks up 'chunk of metal' – only to find out it's rather pricey

The Register - Mon, 2019-02-18 08:00
Seems like you'd remember an incident like that...

Who, Me? Gather round, dear readers, for a priceless story in this week's column for techies' mishaps.…

Categories: Technology News

Data-spewing Spectre chip flaws can't be killed by software alone, Google boffins conclude

The Register - Mon, 2019-02-18 07:05
While browsers have got their act together, any other apps interpreting user-supplied code need to be aware of this

Google security researchers have analyzed the impact of the data-leaking Spectre vulnerabilities afflicting today's processor cores, and concluded software alone cannot prevent exploitation.…

Categories: Technology News

Want to create fake web profile pics? This creepy AI tool makes them on demand. Plus predictive policing, and more

The Register - Mon, 2019-02-18 06:02
Don't panic, we're not all doomed – well, except Nvidia, perhaps

Roundup Here's a summary of what's been going on in the world of machine-learning, beyond what we've already covered, to kick start your week...…

Categories: Technology News

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